HIRE A DESIGNER WHO LISTENS TO YOU!

Unless you want your designer to take on the full responsibility of how and in what style you should live, I  don't recommend working with designers whose egos are equal to brain surgeons. We are not talking about saving lives here!

I've worked for many busy people who do not have the time or inclination to go over every selection.  They have hired me because they know that after we have gone thru their likes and dislikes that I will do what is right for them.  Others want to be involved down to the last detail and that is their choice and their right.  It is our jobs as designers to glean as much information from our clients as possible in order to create an environment that not only functions for their needs, but also brings their dreams into a living reality. 

I have been called upon, too many times to count, to salvage another designers work.  You need to make sure that you are not bullied into agreeing to something that feels wrong.  It is our job to push our clients past their comfort zones because they usually don't have the vision that we have and that is why they have hired a professional.  However, it is our job to listen to what our clients are telling us and hear what they may not be able to express.  One project that comes to mind is a client who had been preoccupied with her dying mother and was not available physically or emotionally during a remodel of a new home she and her husband had just purchased.  They wanted a more contemporary look and she had expressed to her designer that she wanted clean lines and light woods to go along with that style.  What she got were old world style cabinets with loads of trim stained a dark walnut color.  When I was brought in to see what could be done to fix things, all I could think about was what was this designer thinking?  Did it even matter to her what her client wanted or did she just design in a style that she was more comfortable with?

What You Feel Inside, You create Outside

 I went to a dear friends home for a Passover Seder.  She has designed a beautiful modern home that is filled with exquisite art work.  Ellen and her husband love sharing their home with friends and she goes to great lengths to bring out different accessories and dinnerware patterns depending upon the occasion and the size of the group.  She always creates a very festive environment and the lucky ones who have been invited over always look forward to see what she has come up with each and every time. 

As we were all seated, Ellen spoke of her joy in shopping for flowers, selecting a very creative menu and arranging everything to perfection to share with her friends and family.  She acknowledged that her very modern style did not not appeal to everyone but that they could all FEEL the love that was there.

I was stunned, for that was exactly the word I had just written about a couple of hours earlier in my latest blog post. It affirmed that I was on to something as well as knowing why this lovely soul and I are friends.     

The Hidden Secret to Design

Have you ever walked into a perfectly decorated house that had no spirit in it or that felt dead? It is usually for what can't be seen that you are hiring a designer.  Of course you want a beautiful and comfortable home and of course it has to function for your lifestyle and budget. The hidden secret for me is how will it make you FEEL?  Do you want a home or room that aids you in calming down after a hectic day or do you want a room that makes you feel alive and energized?

Your home is about you and the people who live with you.  It is not about what your friends are going to think or say.  They can have their own style at their house.  If someone else's environment deeply speaks to you, look at what it is that you like.  Is it the style of architecture, the type of furniture or the colors?  Go inside of yourself to become aware of what you resonate to.

I usually have clients tag pages in magazines to show me what speaks to them, and when I have asked what it is in the photo that they respond to,  I often hear that they don't really want the featured colors, style of furniture or architecture for themselves.  I usually is always about the MOOD of the space and how it makes them FEEL.  

Honoring those who seem invisible.

I've noticed on construction sites that the men who are actually doing the labor are usually pretty invisible.  We spend a great deal of time looking for the perfect contractor to do the work on our homes, but they usually are running from project to project checking in with their subs (sub-contractors) and then they are off to the next site.  Sometimes these subs are actually installing the plumbing,  setting the tiles and painting, but very often it is their crew.   They are on the bottom of the totem pole, but it is their care, dedication and pride of  craftsmanship that leads to a finished product that you are happy with or not.  So next time you are re-modeling or building a new home think about acknowledging them, thanking them for their good work, filling a fridge with drinks and snacks that they like. 

 One of my friends who is a serious cook, would make the workers gourmet burritos and other foods from their country every day.  She watched them toss their food into the trash while relishing her delectable meals.  Now when something wasn't done to her satisfaction,  do you think these guys grumbled and groused or were they eager to please her?

  It's amazing how far a little kindness and thoughtfulness goes.  While most of us don't have the time or talent to do this,  you can make arrangements to treat them to a special lunch once a week.  You can make a difference in their lives.  The shift that is going on right now is to remember that we are all brothers and sisters on this physical path and that our work here is to recognize that and honor one another.

Your Beliefs in Action!

As a practicing interior designer, I've often wondered why some projects go so smoothly while others seem to be filled with problems, mistakes and delays.  I always look to myself first to see if there are areas where I have gone unconscious, gotten lazy or maybe just had a bad attitude about a particular client.  I'm still working working on why I have attracted some of these difficult people or projects and what each lesson is here. 

 But one project stands out from all of the others.  The client was very nice, was very receptive to my ideas and was willing to spend money on purchasing good quality furniture, while we re-worked some of her existing pieces.  She seemed like the ideal client.  Although everything was corrected immediately, I was aware that it wasn't just me making mistakes.  I measured and re-measured walls before ordering custom sofas that came in too long or short, my brilliant furniture maker of 20 years who never before had made mistakes with his measurements, made pieces that were off, the dining table came in with scratches on the top and a few dining chairs needed to be re-finished.  I'm used to one or 2 things needing repairs but this was just too much for a project of this size. 

 I started wondering if the client had certain sub-conscious beliefs that were attracting these situations into her life.  Did she have fears or expectations of things going wrong?  Did she have trust issues?  What was she thinking and feeling at the time?  She was not the type of person who I could talk to about the Laws of Attraction so I never found out.  I worked with a very famous person who did have the belief that he was the only one who could do anything correctly, and his assistant informed me that he proved himself right time and time again. 

 

Luckily, most of my clients are pretty positive people, have kind and generous hearts and their projects go smoothly.  If something comes in that isn't perfect, they don't freak out, get angry or go into a blame game.  They understand that sometimes things happen other than how it was expected or hoped for, and we just fix it and move on to the next moment.

If you are thinking about doing work on your home or office, I would suggest that you sit quietly and become aware of the intentions that you are setting, notice what beliefs you may have, both positive and negative and what The Big Picture looks like.  In the world of construction and furniture making, there are so many steps and people involved that sometimes things go wrong.  What a non-professional may see as delays or seeming problems is usually seen as standard operating procedures by the professional.  Bumps along the way may look to you like very big hills, but in fact are just the nature of this business and your choice is to feel angry and upset or to stay focused on feeling good while solutions are being found.  Always try to keep The Big Picture of you finally sitting in the home of your dreams, having a drink and good laughs with loved ones.  Some of those "situations" may provide the best laughs of all.